POSITION AVAILABLE

Presidential Enabler (Graveyard Shift)

The White House – Washington, DC

Job Description:

The White House seeks a Presidential Enabler to manage real-time social media operations during critical overnight hours (12:45-1:40 AM). Candidate will work in close proximity to nuclear launch codes while facilitating the President’s communications strategy.

Responsibilities:

• Facilitate 80-100 posts per hour between 12:45 AM and 1:40 AM
• Glean coherent content from incoherent muttering
• Maintain typing speed of 1.35-2.7 words per second for extended periods
• Curate and format conspiracy theory content for presidential review
• Screenshot management and reposting coordination
• Support simultaneous Venezuela governance operations and Iran threat communications
• Amplify unverified claims regarding political assassinations as directed

Requirements:

• Ability to work overnight hours (sleep optional)
• Proficiency in Truth Social platform
• Comfortable working in proximity to nuclear football
• Fact-checking experience discouraged
• Must maintain composure while posting baseless murder accusations
• Strong multitasking: regime change AND social media simultaneously

Preferred Qualifications:

• Experience managing social media for elderly relatives prone to late-night confusion
• Knowledge of QAnon terminology
• Familiarity with sovereign nation overthrow procedures
• Previous work in reality television or wrestling promotion
• Minimal to no critical thinking ability preferred
• High school diploma not required (advanced degrees may disqualify)

Benefits:

• Front-row seat to history (or its unraveling)
• Opportunity to document constitutional collapse from primary source perspective
• Complimentary legal representation (if required)
• Presidential pardon (as necessary)
• Access to classified materials at 2 AM

To Apply:

Submit resume via Truth Social between midnight and 3 AM. Loyalty oath mandatory.

Unsolicited 
Current Events
Job Opening
Laura Gerling
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